Jealousy, Cute or Cruel?

Scary words: I can't live without you. - If I can't have you, no one can!

To some these words may show a strong committed love for them. To me, I find them scary. When do they go from being cute to dangerous? I don't believe this is a line that can be drawn. I find in these words trouble. Jealousy is not an emotion or attitude that I find attractive.

Just take a look at some of the synonyms for jealousy; envy, distrust, suspicion, covetousness, resentment. These are the kind of words that can build in the subconscious of anyone, and keep building until a release of some nature becomes necessary. This release could be verbal or physical, or a combination of the two. Rarely is it cute.

I believe for the vast majority of us jealousy is relatively harmless. But for the few it can be the fuel for an explosive fire of emotions. In today’s society, the pressure of just living is as tense as any time in history. The insecurity of tomorrow is magnified in relationships. The family structure is a necessary stabilizing force in society. When this structure is threatened, other pressures in life are magnified. Being extremely jealous can become an unbalanced emotional and physiological cry for help. Thankfully, most of us can keep jealousy in check. This is if we have a tendency toward jealousy at all.

Yes jealousy can be cute, I guess. The root of jealousy in my mind comes from distrust. And I don't believe it’s something that should be prodded. Like most things in a relationship, jealousy should be discussed honestly between those it concerns. It should never be ignored.

The Bible has much to say about jealousy, none of it is good. I think one of the most telling is Proverbs 6:34: Anger is relentless, and wrath overwhelming - but before jealousy who can stand? Indeed, who can stand? While I believe jealousy is based in a lack of trust, I also believe it goes beyond this basic emotion. It grows and becomes out of proportion with reality. And the increasingly out of balance with reality a person’s life becomes the more fragile a person becomes. This “out of balance” may force a separation on a relationship, a letting go of someone very meaningful.

            Having the ability to let go, or to not become overly attached is a virtue. This does not mean you cannot allow yourself a loving, caring and respectful relationship, it simply means you can let go if necessary. Jealousy brings with it a type of possessiveness, making it harder to let go peacefully. We are all mortal and this means we all have to let go of someone at some time in our lives. People move, others move on, saying goodbye  or so long, this is also a part of letting go.

            Letting go in a relationship is almost always a difficult intention to accomplish. Sadly, it is sometimes just plain necessary. Letting go, saying goodbye, walking away, these are not natural things to us. A great many of us were raised to never quit. We were raised to keep striving toward a goal, and to accomplish that goal. Jealousy is an impairment to reaching this goal.

When it becomes evident that that the jealousy of a loved one is no longer acceptable then self-preservation and/or the protection of our children become the greater concern. I believe the great majority of us would like to have a relationship steeped in mutual love and respect, and I believe this is why we strive with such determination to achieve this goal. We may even try to validate questionable behavior, such as jealousy, in an attempt to justify the retention of a relationship.

            Living our lives with our loved ones brings about great joy and happiness. This, with trust, adds to the fullness of our relationships. These with God bring about an elevated essence within our relationships. Don't let the ugliness of jealousy get in the way of your happiness.

May the love and peace of Christ be with you always.

Scripture is from the NABRE

By David E. Gonzales

Works and Salvation, Love is Charity

As I understand it there are two parties to the thought in this debate. On the one side it may be said that by doing good deeds, or works, one can secure, or earn, their place in salvation. On the other side of this debate it is said that we are commanded to do good deeds, or works, in order to retain our salvation, our place in heaven.

            Christ earned our salvation by the way of the cross; however it is clear by Christ’s commandments that we have a responsibility to maintain that earned salvation through “works”. These “works” are works of charity. And charity, of course, is the physical expression of helping the poor by feeding, clothing, and all acts of compassion, without any expectation of a return. This expression should also be accomplished with humility.

            ^1. “Charity, a theological virtue (along with faith and hope), the highest form of Christian love, whose origination source and ultimate end is God” The driving force behind charity is the Holy Spirit, the gift given to us by the Father through Christ. “Though its formal object and final end is God, charity reaches out to the neighbor and well, including even the enemy and the sinner, who are loved for God’s sake”. “Charity is therefore the greatest of the virtues, because it both conjoins us to God and directs all our activity toward the eternal happiness promised us”.

            This “eternal happiness promised us” is our salvation, the final triumph over sin and death. Since our Christ gave himself for salvation, our place in heaven is secure. However we can lose our place through the act of sin. Charity drives us from sin as it is the will of God to do good. The work of charity is how we love God. The work of charity is our spiritual and physical relationship with God. (^2.Mat, 25; 34-40)

            To me it is clear that works are necessary for salvation. Not that works will earn our way to God’s promise to us, but that it will guide us to maintain that which has been earned for us through the works of our Christ, the ultimate work of charity.

            Faith, Hope, and Love are the mainstays of our faith. The words “love” and “charity” are in many places of the New Testament, one and the same. Our relationship with God is through how we treat our friends, enemies, and strangers. Charity is our commandment; Charity is Love, it is how we are meant to live our lives.

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Other examples;

http://daedgo.blogspot.com/2014/01/1-corinthians-13-adaptation.html  = 1 Corinthians; 13

(An adaptation)

http://daedgo.blogspot.com/2012/09/caritas-through-church.html = Caritas through Church

^1.Encyclopedia of Catholicism; Richard P. McBrien (emphasis is mine)

Scripture is from the NABRE;

^2.Then the king will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.' Then the righteous ¹⁶ will answer him and say, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?' And the king will say to them in reply, 'Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.'

Mark, 12; 29-31-

            Jesus replied, the first is this: Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is Lord alone! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these.

Luke, 10; 29-27

            Jesus said to him, What is written in the law? How do you read it? He said in reply, You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your being, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.

John, 13; 34-35

            I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

Mat, 22; 37-40

            He said to him, You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment, the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself, the whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.

* Encyclopedia Britannica (on-line edition)

Encyclopedia

Charity

In Christian thought, the highest form of love, signifying the reciprocal love between God and man that is made manifest in unselfish love of one's fellow men. St. Paul's classical description of charity is found in the New Testament(I Cor. 13). In Christian theology and ethics, charity (a translation of the Greek word agape, also meaning "love") is most eloquently shown in the life, teachings, and death of Jesus Christ. St. Augustine summarized much of Christian thought about charity when he wrote: "Charity is a virtue which, when our affections are perfectly ordered, unites us to God, for by it we love him." Using this definition and others from the Christian tradition, the medieval theologians, especially St. Thomas Aquinas, placed charity in the context of the other Christian virtues and specified its role as "the foundation or root" of them all.

by David E. Gonzales