God and Tragedy

It’s always the darkest before the dawn. It’s in the lull before the storm that my fears are heightened. It’s after the storm has passed that I feel the calm of normality. It’s also here the love of God is most visible. After the danger has passed, after evil has shown its face, I feel relieved.

This event is over, they are dead, it can’t happen again. Not exactly like this anyway, and not in the same place. Awareness is heightened, and everyone’s head is on a swivel. Reacting to every noise, car out of place, backpack set aside. Evil recedes into the darkness waiting for another opportunity. It will not return until it feels safe, this when we drop our guard.

God becomes most visible in these tragic times. You see God in the mass outpouring of people helping people. They do not cower in their homes, or seek safety in a shelter. They venture out in the open, allowing themselves to be vulnerable for the greater good of humanity. This is true love, this is the Grace of God which is always present, devouring hurt to help others who have been hurt.

We, as children of God, put aside our differences to everyone, regardless of our faith, skin color, age, gender, language, in order to reach out to give aid, comfort, and spiritual healing. God does not create tragedy, nor does God cure the injured. At least not directly, that’s our job. God gives us the power, through the Spirit, for us to aid each other. The power to not cower after a tragedy

happens.

This gift of God is always there. We as a people take it for granted until something happens. Then we look to God and ask, why? Why did you allow this to happen to so many innocent people? Unfortunately to real question is, “Why did we allow this to happen to ourselves and to each other?”

We get comfortable in our everyday lives and turn a blind eye to our surroundings. We get comfortable with our faith, we forget that God has challenged us to be involved in the world through the work of charity. It is through this work that God is most prevalent. Unfortunately, it takes a tragedy for us to extend a hand outside of our comfort zone.

It’s difficult to reach out a helping hand where conflict may arise. But this is our challenge. This is the command that God has given to us, a command of unbridled charity. Yes, it’s hard to reach across the lines we have drawn for ourselves. I believe that if we, as a society, work towards this goal, this command, then we can limit these man made tragedies and live in an increasingly peaceful world.

Love is charity! Read 1 Cor. 13, and replace the word “love” with the word “charity” and you’ll get a better understanding of what kind of love (agape) is being defined in this most beautiful passage.

May God's love and peace be with you always!

David E. Gonzales

“No” is Gender Irrelevant

That’s right. “No” is gender irrelevant. It doesn’t matter if you’re straight, or LGBT. It doesn’t matter if you’re approaching a guy as a guy, a girl as a girl, or in a more traditional manner. If the other party isn’t interested, stop. The rules don’t change just because you’re living an alternative or a traditional life-style. And you’re not exempt for any reason! Respect, politeness, and kindness doesn’t change with your sexuality.

Respect is a vital aspect for any society. And respect begins one on one. Respect then grows from there to up to country to country. Respect, of course, works both ways. If you’re a straight guy/gal, and you’re approached by another guy/gal, just polity state you’re not interested or you’re straight, or whatever, just be polite about it.

If he/she becomes aggressive, that of course changes the narrative, but there’s still plenty of room for politeness. I’ve been approached many times over the years, and by and large the guys have been very civil in their behavior. A simple and polite, “I’m not gay,” usually is enough. But, as they say, “There’s always one in every crowd.” Each circumstance should be handled accordingly. With that said, I’ve never had to resort to any kind of violence.

Respect, politeness, and kindness, in my opinion, should be everyone’s first life-style choice. Beyond that, people will always congregate with people that are like minded. It may take a while to find each other, but eventually life sorts itself out.

May you be filled with the blessings of respect, politeness and kindness.

David E. Gonzales

Us, The Third Person

I will always be me. My persona that is me will change over the years as I grow, mature, educate and learn from my mistakes. Hopefully I will improve as a person as a result of my life experiences. You will always be you. Your life experiences will be unique to you, and hopefully you will improve as a person also. When a relationship begins a new entity is born. This third entity is called “us.”

Relationships, they don’t just happen. They, like children, are created then nurtured to maturity. When you and I meet, even casually, there is a third person born. This person is young, immature, and unsure of itself. As you and I spend time together this third person grows, adapts, matures and becomes increasingly self-evident. Whether this third person grows into a positive, mature and productive adult depends entirely on how you and I respect each other, the more there is disrespect toward one or the other the increasingly dysfunctional this third person will become.

If we never see each other again then this third person becomes dormant. This third person doesn’t disappear, as if it never happened, it does remain in its undeveloped state. It is a part of our development as a person, and so it remains with us. Since this third person is a part of who we are it changes the way we interact with the next person we meet. We may react with increased zeal or with trepidation.

Two main parts of growing a positive third person is trust and respect. The third part is mutual care and support. All three are important in a relationship. These are the foundations of any relationship, therefore, removing any one of them will evolve into a dysfunctional relationship. Sometimes these relationships fall apart with each person carrying that third person with them, each with their unique interpretation of the reality of the relationship. And sometimes the couple will remain with each other for a lifetime. Always struggling to find some normalcy in their relationship.

            There is no doubt that relationships take a lot of hard work. In other articles I have used the word “arduous.” I think this true in many relationships. For many more couples or even families, it is something less then arduous. This could be anywhere from just continually adjusting to one another to professional family counseling.

            A strong foundation begins at the very creation of any relationship. More generally speaking, treating everyone at the outset with respect will create opportunities for healthy relationships. Without respect and trust along with mutual care and support relationships are impossible to create. As in any relationship, trust is given as a precept to respect. But as a relationship develops, trust must be earned. When trust is abused in a relationship it is very difficult, and in many cases impossible, to regain or restore it to its previous level.

            From the earning and giving of trust and respect, mutual care and support naturally develops. It becomes something of a desire. Each couple decides how, how much, and what kind of care and support the other needs or requires. Much of this comes through trial and error. The constant adjusting mentioned earlier.

            Relationships are complicated. Mostly because we are raised as individuals. As children it’s all about me, me and me. As we grow older we are taught to share. We are taught to be independent in thought as well as to be able to work and play with others. But a relationship goes well beyond these simple teachings. A relationship bears a responsibility to constantly develop, in love, this third person. This creation called “us.” Each person is responsible to give of themselves and enhance this third person while never letting the persona that is them get away. This “us” becomes the love that binds each couple together, for all the days of their lives.

May your life be blessed with the unique love that only “us” can bring to life.

By David E. Gonzales

God Has No Plan

This post will undoubtedly upset some of you reading this. If you are, I will apologize in advance. With that said, I think this post has some merit that should be considered.

I’ve heard it said that “God has a plan for you”, or something to that extent. I think this is an incorrect, albeit, easy and common way to explain the hardships, we as his children experience during our lifetimes. It is difficult to answer questions as to the “why” in life. As in “He or she is such a good person, how or why did this horrible thing happen to them.” It is here I hear the answer, “it’s all in God’s plan.” I must disagree.

God doesn’t have a plan for our lives. This time between our birth and our death. God may very well know what is in store for us here. But that’s not the same as making a plan. One reason I don’t believe that God plans out our lives is that our lives are filled with hardship. God, and as our parents, don’t wish hardships on us. Also, I do not believe that God tests our faith through our hardships, although through our hardships our faith is lessened or strengthened.

There is something important about having us go through the process of life. There is something important about making the decisions, big and small, that make our lives what they are. I do not believe that God micro-manages our lives. God is not controlling our every step along the way. If this were true then we would be little more than robots, with no free will. God does not have a plan for us, but God didn’t leave us completely to our own accord either. God did give us a guide. Three in fact.

God gave us this guide to support us as we make our decisions, big and small, every day in our lives. This guide is the root of our faith. It is the root of almost every faith. This guide is called Faith, Hope, and Love.

Love, especially in the New Testament, is translated from the Latin word “agape” and this is where we get our word for “charity.” I have written in some of my other posts that our relationship with God is, as is, our relationship with each other. That every sin against humanity is a sin against God. And the simplest form of charity is kindness.

Faith, each of us understand our Faith in our unique way. Simply, Faith is offered to us by the Grace God to accept or reject, freely. It is through study, prayer and our life experiences we make our decisions. Our Faith may vary in depth, becoming weaker or stronger as we grow and mature.

Hope. It is Hope, in my opinion, that gives us the driving force to face tomorrow. It is persons without Hope that have no will to continue. All those with the gift of hope can face all the tomorrow’s that are in our time of life.

Whether your Hope is rooted on a Faith or is just something you feel welling up inside, it is Hope that that gets us through each day. No matter if it’s the best or worst of times. It is Hope that keeps us moving forward. It is Hope that gives us courage. It is Hope that allows us to expand our world beyond the confides of our physical and intellectual present.

It is Hope, not a plan, which God gives us. Faith and Love complete the balance in our lives. And it is truly our lives to live. And it is by the gifts of God that we are able to live it.

May God’s gift of Hope be with you always.

David E. Gonzales

I’m Not Attached-

I’m not attached to things, physical things. I hear people say, “I love my car, phone, or other things.” Or, “I don’t know what I would do without this or that thing.” I have a truck I’ve been driving for 14 years; I am no more fond of it than I am of the chair I’m sitting on or the door to this room. These are inanimate objects. They have no life. They give no love. Yet many people do give of themselves to these “things.”

Why do so many give of themselves to things that cannot give in return? It never ceases to befuddle me when I see people have so much emotion over a car. Perhaps it’s because so many people are lonely? Or do they lack in having a Faith? We, as a society seem obsessed with the things we create. Things that give us moments of pleasure, or wonderment, but not a lasting relationship. In fact, not a relationship at all, for a healthy relationship is a two-way engagement.

A healthy relationship is between two human beings. I’m speaking here in regards to personal relationships. There are relationships in families, groups and societies. I wish to keep this within the personal relationship. I believe that personal relationships are both physical and spiritual. Both of these types of relationships have the same foundation of trust, charity, mutual care and support.

I believe many, if not most people, are missing part of this foundation in their lives. One of these parts is trust, and I believe this is why so many of us cling to “things” with an emotional attachment. We don’t have to give much trust to a car or a cell-phone. If these things fail us we can get another one. We can discard them at a whim. Or if they are reasonably reliable we can cling to them as if they are a trusted friend.

Charity brings about another dimension altogether. Let’s bring charity down to its fundamental core, kindness. It doesn’t take much to see that ‘things” don’t bring or offer kindness. Not in any way, whatsoever. So when I hear people say, “Its been so good to me,” I would like to believe they’re speaking metaphorically. Except many are not. They have developed an imaginary relationship with an object. A relationship where they believe this object “cares” about them. This belief can allow people to disengage with others and become increasingly recluse. The attraction is that it’s safer than a personal relationship. However, there’s also no mutual care and support.

Mutual care and support can only be between two people. Again I’m speaking in the context of a personal relationship. Mutual care and support is, really, just two people paying attention to one another. Paying attention with the desire to help one another be as real, productive, and serving as possible. I mean to say, as human as possible. When we put all this together, we call it; being in love, sharing love and being loved.

To be loved is what we desire the most. But I don’t think most of us understand just what that means. To love is to extend to yourself outside of yourself and to take risk with one other. To be loved is to allow yourself to be cared for physically, emotionally, intellectually, and psychologically. A healthy relationship is some combination of all these aspects, each combination becoming unique to each couple. A couple, two people.

Two people, not things, stuff, objects, or toys. A relationship, not something to be discarded and replaced because it’s not working as well as one dreamed it should be working. A relationship takes work, some requiring more care than others. Few relationships, if any, are free of flaws. None of them are attached to “things” more than they are attached to each other. If they were, they would be considered a business relationship and not personal one.

I’m not attached…

I’m not attached to what I have. I have what I need to function in today’s society, both in business and personally. I don’t need things, or want things to replace human interaction and certainly not to mimic a relationship. I think we as a society need to prioritize our emotions regarding “things” and people. I think we need to treat each other with the foundation of charity and kindness.

If we treat each other with this foundation of trust, charity, mutual care and support, we will find a shift in the way we look at the “things” in our lives. Putting our attachments in the human context, first and foremost. We need to pull our heads out of the electronic sand and reinsert our body, and minds back into personal relationships and society as whole. The relationship we have with each other is the same relationship we have with our God, Spirit, or Higher Power.

As we shift from the “things” of this world, we will be more willing to embrace our natural longing toward faith and our humanity. We are all physical and spiritual beings in need of physical and spiritual relationships.

May we all be blessed in our physical and spiritual relationships.

David E. Gonzales

The Golden Rule / Karma

Is this life in a nutshell? Is The Golden Rule/Karma the simplest manner to explain nearly all the World’s faiths? Is this the reason why the “me first” way of life is generally looked down upon in nearly every society today. And not only today but throughout history? This simple “rule” is really quite expansive, as it covers the basics of human interaction.

Not only is the Golden rule/Karma between me and anyone I meet, it also extends to how I treat someone, anyone, in need and as to how I am treated when I am in need. The return on my kindness may not be immediate, it may not even happen in this life. It may not come until I have become debilitated, incapacitated, and/or feeble, but it will come. I believe in The Golden Rule/Karma.

Karma will pat you on the back or kick you in the rear. And it’s all dependent on you. How you treat others is Karma’s motivation. I think it is because of my belief in The Golden Rule/Karma that I’m not a vindictive person. I don’t feel the motivation to “get” someone, or to “get back at” anyone. And yes I’ve had the occasion to feel I should or could do just that. It’ll happen, even if I don’t see it happen, or know it happened. Or, speaking eternally, that it may happen in the next life.

This doesn’t mean that I haven’t had The Golden Rule/Karma kick me a few times. I’ve been on the not so nice end of life. I’m not proud of it, but it’s a fact of life, and I acknowledge it and live with it. I do my best to live The Golden Rule, and I admit, I’m still learning. Yes, I believe in The Golden Rule and Karma. They are one and the same. Different traditions, but very much the same.

There’s the Golden Rule, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” And then there’s the evil twin, “Do unto others before they do unto you.” We all have our choices to make, and the freedom to accept or reject the good or pernicious. And yes, they both can be accepted and/or rejected. Each with its rewards or penalties.

To accept the good is to move forward, looking ahead with a positive attitude, kindness, graciousness, charity, respect, forgiveness, acceptance, and tolerance. The Golden Rule/Karma will follow this trail. To reject the good is to move forward taking advantage of the less wily, knowledgeable, the weak, old and ill. The Golden Rule/Karma will follow this trail also. This is to live a life while looking over your shoulder. Always wondering when Karma’s steel-toed boot is going to leave its mark. Sounds like a tough way to live, certainly not a peaceful way.

So, take your pick, make your choice. Lend a helping hand or slap one away. Just remember, this is your hand you are offering, or your hand you are slapping. This is your future, perhaps soon or perhaps in eternity,…….. Your eternity.

 The Golden Rule/Karma, pay it forward

Scripture is from the NABRE:

Mat. 7; 12a. Do to others whatever you would have them do to you.

Also Luke 6:31. Do to others as you would have them do to you.

by David E. Gonzales

Racism; A Cure?

I’ve heard people say that racism is taught, which it is. However I don’t believe that’s the only dynamic involved with this issue. What I’m bringing into the conversation is that racism is also a decision made. What I’ve been hearing and reading are individuals making the popular statement about racism being taught and following it up with a pointed example. This seems ok, except they usually follow-up their point with something like “THE END, OR THAT IS ALL” This of course is meant to end the conversation. Ah, if it were only that simple.

            President Obama recently stated in a speech that racism hasn’t been cured. And I have to agree with that statement. What I don’t agree with is the idea that there is a cure.

There is not now, nor will there ever be a cure for racism. Racism can be taught, yes, but that is not the only way people become racists. Another method could be that a person sees another person, and that other person looks different. The human mind immediately goes into motion and tries to understand what it’s seeing. The mind can come to many different conclusions. One of those conclusions could be, “if it’s different than me it must be less than me, or flawed in some way”. Once the mind comes to define something in this manner, it may at this time become a sub-conscience truth. It may be very hard, if not impossible, to change the mindset of that

conclusion.

            The mindset of racism is a motivation for people to gather. People tend to congregate with those of similar qualities. Other more common qualities are skin color, language, cultural traditions, and/or religious practices. These commonalities have been around since the earliest of times.

In the Bible racism is largely absent from mindset of its writers. Religious bigotry is a very different matter. There’s also the very prevalent matter of birthright written in the pages of the Bible. You were either Jewish or not Jewish, a Roman citizen or not a Roman citizen, wealthy or poor, and of course later, a Christian or not a Christian. Each one came with its specific rights and privileges. Thankfully, the Bible also tells us how to deal with racism and bigotry.

The Bible states throughout, especially in the New Testament, that love is the answer. It teaches us that love is lived through charity, kindness, respect, forgiveness, acceptance, and tolerance. Living life through love, and teaching through example can no doubt reduce racism throughout our society.

We are predominantly a society of religions. If we truly live our lives as our faiths teach, we can minimalize and delegitimize the idea of racism and bigotry. We will never be able to eliminate racism or bigotry, but we can diminish it to the point that it becomes a scourge on those who practice this belief, and not worn as a badge of honor.

There is no honor in hatred. Hatred begets hatred, love begets love, and love always triumphs. (1 Cor. 13)

May you always practice what you preach, and may you always preach love!

by David E. Gonzales

Related link: God Hates The--- 

Definitions via the Merriam-Webster on-line dictionary:

rac·ism

: a belief that race is the primary determinate of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race

: racial prejudice or discrimination

big·ot

: a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices ; especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance

Alzheimer’s, A Thousand Good Bye’s

           Each day, sometimes hour, there’s a new realization, a deeper understanding of this most egregious disease. Alzheimer’s is a slow and unpredictable demise of the afflicted and simply the most despicable type of torture ever devised by nature. No man could think up any method more emotionally or physically debilitating.

          Each day is a new good bye. And yet there he is, dad, sitting there, starring back at me. Sometimes he stares at me with a smile, Sometimes it’s as blank as night. I never know if there will be a dawn. Sometimes he speaks fluently, if only for a short sentence. Then it’s back to mumbling, fidgeting with is hands. He attempts to stand, only to wonder why. A customer needs help, a meeting needs to be attended, a car needs to be washed and readied for the customer to pick-up. But that was fifteen years ago.

          Time no longer matters. There’s no longer a difference between dawn or dusk, between Sunday or any day. It’s just today, it’s just right now, and it’s just never going to be the same. As his personality slowly vanishes, the reality of his mortality increasingly develops. After all. He is my hero, my mentor, that bigger than life guy I still remember from when I was a kid.

          And then there’s the dilemma of the end. I know what that means, for there’s only one end to Alzheimer’s. Except with Alzheimer’s there’s more than one death. I want so much for my father’s suffering to end. But that would mean a new suffering would begin, but this time it would be my mother who suffers. The suffering of grief.

          Grief, that despicable yet emotionally necessary process of healing. There’s no time limit on grief, and Alzheimer’s, that thousand different ways and days of saying goodbye grinds out every drop of emotional fortitude. This is grieving in advance, preparing for grieving post. It’s going to happen, my father’s death, I’ll miss dad, and I’ll be happy for dad, while hurting for mom.

          I thank God for his grace that allows me the strength to deal with the ever changing and challenging emotional and psychological drain this disease affects. I am thankful for my training in chaplaincy and religious study to help me, and hopefully my family, through this most difficult time. And to help us through the difficult time that is most certainly yet to come.

          I’ll never be sure when dad will leave us for good, I do know that he will leave us before he dies. There’s so much to say, ………. That will never be said.

by David E. Gonzales

“In his great love,

the God of all consolation gave us the gift of life.

May he bless you with faith,

in the resurrection of his Son,

and with the hope of rising to new life.”

Amen-

From the “Shorter Book of Blessings”

The difference between you and I-

The difference between you and I is everything,

And nothing.

We’re both human, I don’t recall making that choice.

Our differences or our similarities in our skin color is irrelevant because neither of us had a choice in this matter.

            The same is true with the difference in our facial features, hair, teeth, height, athletic ability, artistic expression, and intelligence.

Our speech patterns may be more genetically induced,

while our accents are a product of our environment. Neither of which was of our choice.

Our differences or our similarities in our spoken language is irrelevant because neither of us had a choice in our native language.

googleimages/differences 

Our taste in clothing is based largely in the environments we grew up in, and neither of us had a choice in that either.

            Growing up in poverty or wealth, attending public or private school, not a choice of ours.

Our choices regarding religion and/or faith are largely taught to us when we are young. Almost all of them (religious institutions) allow us to make a choice later in life on how or if we wish to follow in that faith.

            The difference between you and I is how we choose to live our lives. The difference is what we learn from our life’s lessons and how we choose to apply them. Whether it is be productive, destructive - loving, apathetic – positive, negative - isolated or engaged, these are our choices, and this is the difference between you and me. I understand we will never be “the same”. In fact I hope we never are! I do hope that in our own ways we can be on the “good” side of “different”, for different is what makes life exciting. And “good” is what makes life worth living.

I hope to meet your different on the good side of life. Until then, may all good and different blessings be with you.

by David E. Gonzales

The Dust Has Settled

       Now that the dust has settled, now that the Christ has risen and the world draws back into the life it has carved out for itself. Let’s reflect back on what has just happened. For the events that have just been completed, tortured, died, descended, risen, ascended, these are the events that evolve Christianity distinctly from Judaism.

       The torture and death was a deliberate act of cruelty of man against man. The result of a power struggle where on one side it was the power of man over man and on the other side it was the power of God with man. Yes you read that correctly, God with man, not God over man.

clipartpanda.com

       God has been trying to be partners with man since the beginning of time. From one covenant to another to again another we, humanity, keep rejecting God’s attempts to be one with another. We, humanity, keep rejecting God as if we have all the answers, all the common sense, all the power to control all things. We, humanity, born from the breath of God, still think we are superior to God. And for our efforts we keep fighting each other because after all “we” know best.

       The other three, (descended, risen, ascended) are Christ putting his full and complete trust into the hands of his Father. “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit”. (Luke 23; 46b) Our Christ didn’t descend into hell, rise from the grave or ascend into heaven by his own power. He knew it was by his Father’s hand he would be manifested as the Son of God and returned home to sit at his side. Full and Complete trust in his Father.

       And yet we, humanity, continue on our path, OUR PATH! Not the one God asks of us, but instead the one that we, in all our narcissism, carve out for ourselves. It may be true we know what we want better than anyone. But do we really know what we need better than anyone, or anything?

       And so we continue fighting, killing, raping, aborting, and dividing each other in new and horrible ways. We look to our governments to solve the issues of the poor instead of looking at ourselves to simply help as we can. As we can individually and through our churches, synagogues, temples, mosques, and congregations of all types.

       The dust has settled. God has again, reached out to us. Our relationship with our God is, as is, our relationship with each other. How’s your relationship?

Scripture is from the NABRE

by David E. Gonzales

What's Worse?

What's worse? 

Hating each other,

- Or ignoring each other?

     Hating each other leads to destructive behavior.

While ignoring each other results in apathetic behavior.

     I think both lead to sadness, and I think that says enough.

     Love, or more specifically, charity, leads to behavior that is constructive and enthusiastic.  

     Constructive, in building a society that is greatly reduced in destructive aggression. Consistently reinforcing a foundation for strong relationships. 

     Being enthusiastic in kindness, this leads to stronger families, communities, towns, cities, states, and countries. This is laid upon a stable foundation, enduring the test.

-Charity, people lending a hand to people.

--Charity, kindness extended to those in need.

---Charity, Love personified.

by David E. Gonzales

Humanity's Healing

Charity is the essence to Humanity's Healing.

      Charity is;

The hand held out in compassion and kindness for the sake of others.

The care of the poor, and the stability amongst chaos.

The active relationship with our God, Spirit, or Higher Power.

It is what holds Nations, States, cities, towns, communities, and families together.

It is the greatest gift we as a people can give to one another.

It is love in practice.

True charity is Love in its purest form.

by David E. Gonzales

Clip art - Helping Hands