Grief, A Thought About:

We are physical beings, and as physical beings we understand the touch, smell, taste, and visual world by those measures. When we lose a loved one to death we grieve these physical losses of our loved one as if we have lost a measure of ourselves.

I think grief has as much to do with accepting death as it does anything else. I think we, as mortal beings, need to learn how to accept this loss both in the physical and spiritual sense. Part of acceptance has to do with how we understand our faith and what our faith tells us. When we or our loved ones pass away we are told, in our faith, there is no pain, no crying of tears, nor suffering by our loved ones. (Rev; 7: 16-17, Rev: 21: 4a).

I think if we truly believe this teaching it can have a comforting effect on our grieving.

I think also we need to understand that there’s a difference between letting go and forgetting. When we say we are letting go it has to do with the physical presence of our loved ones. We will keep our loved ones with us by our memories and the stories we share with others. As we remember them through these stories our minds recreate the sights, smells and sounds associated with our loved ones.

If we accept the loss of our loved ones and equally accept the understanding of our faith, I believe we can lessen the pain of grief and the time it takes to go through the process of our grief. By not accepting that our loved one has indeed passed away, by holding on to the physical sights, smells and sounds associated with our loved one, we grieve all the longer and all the harder and all the more intensely. This is not to suggest that this is a simple thing to do, it is not. However, by understanding our faith we can more easily and perhaps with less pain let go of the physical presence of our loved ones. While never forgetting our memories of them and realizing their new place with God can help us in our life’s many transitions.

Related posts;

Grief, what’s so good about it? - http://daedgo.blogspot.com/2012/10/grief-whats-so-good-about-it.html 

Tears - http://daedgo.blogspot.com/2014/07/tears.html 

Scripture is from the NABRE:

Rev. 7: 16-17: They will not hunger or thirst anymore, nor will the sun or any heat strike them. Thor the Lamb who is in the center of the throne will shepherd them and lead them to springs of life-giving water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”

Rev. 21: 4a; “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain,”

by David E. Gonzales

Tears

One of the greatest gifts is the ability to cry. It may not seem like it to many, but I consider it to be a truth.

An old Jewish fable, roughly paraphrased, as Adam and Eve were leaving the Garden of Eden, God had them wait for moment. God wanted to give them a gift. The gift God gave them was a tear. The gift of a tear for Adam and Eve was to cope with the loss of their intimate relationship with God and for the arduous life that awaited them.

Artwork by David E. Gonzales

I find it amazing one gift can convey extreme emotions on opposite ends of the spectrum. The depths of grief may be brought about by the loss of a loved one; the joys may be brought about by a marriage or a birth. Tears, they help us to endure the deepest pain of grief and experience the highs of our greatest joys! Crying brings about a tremendous release in mind and body, one that is uninhibited to social scrutiny.

Tears have been said to cleanse the soul. I believe this is true. Tears help the mind release the pain of an event. No, they’re not a cure, but certainly they are an assistance to the mind and body. On the joyful side, tears help us to enjoy an event to the maximum extent. Tears are the one gift, the one emotion, which brings our humanity out. They allow us to be ourselves in an extreme manner.

Tears are not in themselves painful, they do, however, allow us to bring out an intensity of pain beyond our normal experience. Tears are not pleasure, but in much the same manner as pain, tears allow us to bring out the full intensity our of joy.

Tears, so simple, so basic, so necessary, so extraordinary!

May all your tears be brought to your eyes through joyous celebration –

by David E. Gonzales