Change and the Void Created

Whenever change happens a void is created. When it happens that something is left behind or removed from our lives then a void is created within us. A void leaves a hole, an empty space within our being and it’s a scary feeling. We crave to either regain, or replace what was lost. It is this feeling of loss; this fear of having lost this piece of ourselves that drives us back to what we lost or pushes us forward to fill this void created.

This is the reason that so many people will return to or hold on to a spouse that is abusive or other unhealthy situation. The unknown future of a lost relationship is scarier than the abuse endured by the abused. When the loss is great enough in the mind of a person, the attempt to fill this void can be through drug, alcohol or extreme behavior that lashes out at other people or society in general. We as people strive to feel complete, and in doing so we make rash decisions reaching out to grab the first possible solution to our dilemma.

In our attempt to fill this void created, we as a society so often end up in much the same situation that led to our dilemma. I have noticed that people with a solid spiritual foundation will avoid these undesirable situations more often than not. It seems that having the ability to retreat into prayer or mediation of some sort helps to ease the pain of loss that first fills the void. By first drawing back into a reflective state of mind, by accepting the past as a fact, by keeping those facts in the context of reality, the anxiety of the future is lessened.

As our anxiety is lessened or relaxed we are increasingly able to see the present in the context of reality. The essence of our existence becomes increasingly self reliant. This feeling of being self-reliant leads to a self confidence that in turn helps us make better and increasingly thoughtful decisions. This can then lead to a better quality of life. Not just in our physical state, but in our spiritual state of being as well.

As we created a better understanding of our spirituality we are better able to fill the voids created by loss with our spiritual center. Instead of reaching out into the physical world to fill these voids we have the necessary tools to step back and evaluate our lives. This ability to step back and to see and accept the how and why of our place in time can bring about peace in the void created.

“Patience is a virtue” is an old saying that gets thrown around quite haphazardly. But patience by itself isn't worth much unless you can fill it with a productive process. Developing a process that has the inclination to bring about a positive outcome in your life is essential to personal peace. Developing a strong spiritual center can go a long way in preventing negative events that may have, in the past, taken control your life. Each person has to find their way of spirituality, most find it in a combination of styles. Many in today’s society find combining traditional prayer with other kinds of meditations increasingly fulfills their needs. They have a better grasp of their spirituality and this makes it harder for them to be shaken by natural events that are bound to happen to most of us.

Life is an unexpected experience, be prepared for the uncertainty of life with a strong spiritual center. When voids are created and pain attempts to fill this void and drive your life, have the strength to step back and meet the pain head on. Have the strength to embrace and accept the events of life. For me this spirituality centers on the Holy Trinity, for you spirituality may be a whole other experience.

It is my hope that this may, even in some small way, help you to find your spiritual being and to find peace in this life.

May the peace and love of Christ be with you.

By David E. Gonzales

Relationships, I Believe

            I don't believe in one night stands,

                          I believe in relationships.

Oh sure a one night stand has some benefits, there is a physical need that is served. But the emotional and the psychological needs are far from satisfied. All positive relationships are grounded in mutual respect and care. A one night stand belies this positive aspect with the “me” factor being the driving purpose. The concern is in receiving and not in giving.

For me, as a person, to always have a goal to strive for brings a certain special passion to my life. To be in a continuing relationship with another where I am trying to understand, while not always agreeing with another, is to forever bring me closer to that person in my relationship with them. With God, and with people, this relationship can never be complete in this world and so the continuing effort to understand another is vital to the growth of any relationship.

I also think that a relationship should be with both partners as giving, and not so much with the give and take so often talked about. When you are in a relationship of give and take inevitably there is a score kept. This may not be a conscience score but more a feeling of dissatisfaction with one’s needs being met. If both partners are of a giving mode then there is less likely a feeling of need, as the need is fulfilled with the giving. This might be considered a “perfect” relationship, however “perfect” is a human impossibility.

Artist Unknown

I don't believe in “perfect”. I don't believe in the perfect relationship. Not even my relationship with God, as I understand God, is perfect. I believe somehow that is the point of our relationships, not to be perfect, but instead to forever being committed to, faithful to, and striving for the perfect relationship with another person. In faith this relationship would be our Spirituality. As human beings we are all different, imperfect, and unique and as such we have to work at it to get along. The more intimate the relationship the increasingly arduous the task. Along with the effort also comes the increased satisfaction of being.

In this type of relationship there is also risk. For being open and honest is a necessary element. Any time we are open and honest we expose ourselves to possible ridicule or embarrassment, either private or public. This of course is why I believe that all positive relationships are grounded in respect and care. Relationships that use a deception and/or manipulation as a foundation will lead to unhappiness and failure.

The euphoria of a new relationship can be quite alluring; this is almost always a short term emotion. Including your partner in your plans as you look to the future will help in your quest for a meaningful relationship. You may have noticed that I have not written here about “love”. I believe that love is rooted in charity and charity is giving without the expectation of a return, and giving without the expectation of a return, is love practiced and love defined. Above I stated that I believe that both partners should be as giving and not give and take. This in turn would lead to perfect love. But since I don't believe in perfect, there is the arduous task of understanding with respect and care for the heart of another.

I believe that for those willing to put forth the risk and effort of a relationship they will be increasingly successful, happy, and fulfilled people. Adding to this a good and positive Spirituality can only increase the satisfaction of any relationship.

Blessings to you of peace and love, always.

By David E. Gonzales

The Thirty Day Verbal Cleanse. (Spiritual Balance)

You’ve heard of the 30-day Body Cleanse? This is usually where you drink certain natural beverages to cleanse the body of impurities. This could be before you start a diet or just for general health. The Thirty Day Verbal Diet is essentially much the same thing, except this is more for the mind and soul than specifically for the physical body. Just as we feel bloated or tired when our bodies are full of impurities, our minds, or conscience, feels sluggish when we don’t take the time to improve how we think and speak. We just feel better when we cleanse or clean out these impurities. Although some would say that a clean mind contributes to a healthy body.

The Thirty Day Verbal Cleanse is just that, a cleaning up of your vocabulary. Changing the way we express ourselves requires most of us to slow down our thoughts. We are then able to process our thoughts using a different approach of self-expression. Not only are we using different words we’re changing the way we structure our speech. We then use words that actually express what we’re feeling, seeing, or experiencing at any given moment.

Taking the time to think through your thoughts and express them not only helps others to understand what you are thinking and feeling, but you also understand what you are experiencing in a clearer fashion. Taking the time to write down the experience you desire to relate to another person helps clarify this same experience to yourself. This deliberate act slows the thought process even more. The words you use are an expression of who you are. However this does not mean you have to or need to be wordy. Being succinct with your expressions helps to grab and maintain the attention of others.

During this time of cleansing take notice of how the people in your life, professional or personal, respond to you as you say something that they didn’t expect you to say. This is also true when you don’t say something that they did expect you to say. You may be surprised at the positive responses you receive. Your use of language is perhaps the single most important expression of who you are. And you use it every day to nearly everyone you meet.

Why bother with the Thirty Day Verbal Cleanse? Many of us may experience a feeling of conflict when we use words of an expletive or of a derisive nature. This would also include the kind of language used to bully another person. Usually these feelings of conflict arise when we do something that is not consistent with what we believe as true or coincides with our core selves. This internal conflict occurs as we realize that spiritually we are not this kind of a person. A verbal cleanse can help you self-evaluate your spirituality resulting in a more peaceful you.

Living your life within your beliefs of Spirit, Higher Power or God will help you get in touch with your personal spirituality. This in turn should reduce internal conflict and stress while allowing you to think clearer and with increased focus.

I wish you all the best in your journey for a better mind and body and soul.

by David E. Gonzales

Quiet Spirituality: A little piece of me

           To put it in a nutshell;

“Always preach the Gospel, and when necessary use words.” St. Francis of Assisi

Love is a word of action and God is love in its purest form. Spirituality is how I live my life in my relation to this God in action. If I understand God as love and live my life without love I am not living a spiritual life. I live in love when I do a work of charity, and do so not because I have to, but instead because I am called to do so by my faith.

I would much rather people see me as a good Christian, than to hear me as a good Christian. Quiet Spirituality is the practice of living my life in love/charity more so than teaching or preaching about love/charity. I am a spiritual being. “Spiritual” is my relationship to a God of love in action. My relationship is expressed through my acts of charity (love). The spirit guides me away from harm, and calls me to service, to be spiritual, to live my life in my knowledge of God. (¹1 Corinthians 13:1-3) ”If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing”.

I don’t believe in preying on the fears of the people to spread the word of God. I believe in feeding the hope that God has shown us. And by feeding I mean showing all those who wish to hear/see the opportunity to grasp hope and love and to let that hope and love become a realization in their lives.

            Christ came to show us, literally and physically show us, the love God has for us. Yes there are some hard sayings in Holy Scripture and I believe we will never fully understand what the true message is in these sayings. Certainly there is much theology, mystery, mysticism, scriptural interpretation, that we as mere mortals will never fully grasp. It is because of the intellectual limitations of our minds to contemplate the infinite, that I have developed this “Quiet Spirituality.”

This is a simple and foundational, but not fundamentalist, practice of Christianity. This is a life to be lived and to be practiced. I use as my foundation, these parts of Sacred Scripture and Church Tradition that I believe reflect the core message of Christ. The message of love and what love means.

To add to the above stated quotes;

Mark, 12; 29-31-

            Jesus replied, the first is this: Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is Lord alone! You shall love the Lord your God with all tour heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these.

Also / Luke, 10; 29-27 – Mat 22; 37-40

John, 13; 34-35

            I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

Mat, 7; 12-

            Do to others whatever you would have them do to you. This is the law and the prophets.

Luke, 37-38

            Stop judging and you will not be judged. Stop condemning and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. Give and gifts will be given to you; a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing, will be poured into your lap. For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you.

Also Mat. 7; 1-2

            Quiet Spirituality largely goes unnoticed by the general population. This practice brings about a great deal of personal satisfaction but few accolades. After all, Spirituality is a life lived in love and love is rarely loud. A life lived within Quiet Spirituality usually gets you noticed after you’ve moved on from the people that you’ve been working with. And that’s ok. Works of charity comes from the heart of the giver and by guidance of the Holy Spirit.

            This is just a little piece of me. I understand that there are many ways to be Spiritual. This is just the way I have chosen to express myself; this is my way of being a positive presence in this life. When necessary, I expand myself into other methods of Spiritual behavior. I do not judge others because they use the soapbox, the pulpit, the TV, or radio to express their Spiritual beliefs; more power to them for being able to reach the populace in mass. This is just a little piece of me; I hope that you are able to take little peace with you on your Spiritual journey.

May the peace and love of Christ be with you always. Amen.

by David E. Gonzales

Scripture is from the NABRE

Honestly! - Part One

 *Honest = honorable in principles, intentions, and actions, upright and fair

Spirituality = how you live your life in relationship to, how you understand your higher power

            So, just how honest are you? No, not with all those other people, just how honest are you with you? Just how well do you live a life that is in line with your spiritual beliefs? How consistent are you in practice? Are you comfortable in your own skin? If you didn’t respond with a resounding “VERY WELL” then please read on.

Many people have difficulties, or challenges that stem from their spirituality, or their lack of a practiced spirituality. Unfortunately, most people don’t even realize that the feeling they have of imbalance in life is very much in tune to the way they live their lives. One example may be; a man and woman are living together outside of marriage, one or the other or even both may have a conflict within themselves that causes conflict in the relationship. I use this example only due to its commonality. Their personal ethical, moral, or religious ideals do not reflect the life that they desire or believe they should be living. The solution then is to resolve the conflict between how they are living their lives and how they perceive their lives should be lived. They will have to make a physical, emotional and spiritual decision as to how they will bring their current situation into balance. These are hard decisions to make; but before they can make a confident decision that will affect not only their life but the lives of their family and friends, they need to fully understand themselves and their God.  Bringing your spiritual life in concert with your physical life can help with these decisions and bring tremendous peace into your existence.

The first key, as simple as it sounds, is to understand your God or, if you desire, your higher power. A person may believe that their God is a good and kind God, but then they ask God “why have you given me this pain to deal with”. They may not even realize that this is a conflict within their own understanding of God and it is causing them the emotional imbalance that they are currently experiencing. It is not God that is causing their pain, but conceivably it is simply the environment that they live in. How well do you take care of yourself? What kind of people do you associate with? What is the environment in your neighborhood, or your employ? Or it could be because of the decisions they have made in the past. You can’t change the past, but you can certainly shape the future.

            The next key is to understand you, and this is probably the most difficult. Can you honestly answer this; what kind of person am I? Now, can you answer this question in detail? For instance; when you are in traffic do you act as politely to the person that cut you off as you do when you’re with family? Are you as kind at home as you are when dealing with business partners or old friends? Is your God with you at all times, or just when it’s convenient? These could be the personal questions that you need to come to a conclusive understanding of. But indeed, you need to come to a conclusive understanding of yourself. The better you understand yourself and your tendencies the better you can react to all the different challenges that life will bring about. The better prepared you will be to not make the same mistakes again and again.

Remember God does not cause us pain. Sin, pain and death came into this world through the sin of Adam. These anxieties or pains can be caused by ourselves or at least by our environment, our entire environment, where we live, the people we associate ourselves with etc. And of course sometimes events just happen; unfortunate circumstances in many cases simply cannot be avoided. How we react depends in part to how we live and comprehend our existence in our relationship with our God. This requires an internal evaluation of who we are, who we really are. Not the ideal we wish for, but the true person that engages others in our everyday lives. This also requires the study of what each individual calls God. In order to live a life that is spirituality honest, you must first understand your God.

This is a brief illustration of being honest with ourselves in our Spirituality. By understanding who you are as a person and what you believe in, you can live a more peaceful and a exceedingly balanced life. Understanding yourself, your beliefs and how they work together is the key to finding a consistently happy life. You are an evolving being, as a lump of clay can be shaped into a fine vase; you too can shape your lived life and your spiritual life to be one in the same.  This is approximately one page of text that will inevitably lead to a lifetime of soul searching. Take your time; be honest with yourself and with others. Oh, and remember to smile as often as possible.

           

*Dictionary.com

By David E.Gonzales