The sacrament of marriage is unique among the sacraments; it is the only
sacrament that is not administered or conferred by a priest. (CCL, 1111-1;
CCC-1623, 1663) The Bishop, Priest, Deacon, or properly delegated lay person assists
during the matrimonial ceremony and all are given the authority to administer
the nuptial blessing. This is important since the nuptial blessing is the
“epiclesis” of the sacrament, bringing the Holy Spirit upon the couple which is
the “seal” of their covenant. (CCL, 1624) As such, and given that a delegated
lay person may assist and bless to “seal” this sacrament changes the essence of
this peak experience with God. This is truly a sacrament of conscience.
With the
other sacraments - confirmation, the Eucharist, Holy Orders, penance, Sacrament
of the Sick, a Bishop and/or a priest must be the celebrant. In the case of
Baptism, a lay person may perform the sacrament but only in extraordinary
situations, such as when death is imminent and a Bishop, Priest, or Deacon
cannot be secured before death occurs.
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There is no doubt that
the Church’s position on divorce and remarriage is solidified in both tradition
and scripture. The Church, through these two disciplines and a literal
interpretation of the word, has determined that remarriage without the formal,
legal inclusion of the Church tribunal, concludes that the re-married couple is
living in perpetual sin. Here, the words of Christ are as clearly stated as any
in the bible, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery
against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits
adultery.” (MK, 10; 11-12) We know that our Christ used many hard saying during
his time of his ministry with us. We have learned to understand these sayings
in the light of intent instead of a literal understanding. For instance, we understand
that when Jesus said, “Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to pass
through the eye of a needle than for one who is rich to enter the kingdom of
God”. (Matt, 19; 24), we know that he was not condemning all rich people to
hell. When St. Paul said that all “women should wear a head covering” (1 Cor.
11: 5-6) or that they should be silent in church” (1 Cor. 14: 34), he was
speaking in the context of his time and of Jewish law. We certainly do not
follow these edicts in the western Church. By using the method of biblical
criticism for scripture study, and by using as our guide the law of love, we
can better interpret the author’s intent.
At
every Mass we acknowledge our “faults and failings”: that we are all sinners
and are undeserving of receiving the Holy Eucharist. The Penitential Act is
exceptionally telling “…that I have greatly sinned … through my most grievous
fault…”1 We confess we “greatly sinned” and we have “grievous fault,”
Before we partake in the Eucharist we publicly state:
“Lord, I am not worthy
that you should enter under my roof,
but only say the word
and my soul shall be healed”.1
When we recite the Lord’s Prayer we ask “forgive
us our sins,” (Lk, 11, 4) “linking our forgiveness of one another’s offenses to
the forgiveness of our sins that God will grant us”. (CCC-1425) Yes, I know these examples do not rise to the
level of a sacrament, when we recite our baptism vows we are not being
re-baptized. When the Eucharistic prayers are stated during the Mass, Christ is
not crucified again and again. The point here being God forgives us even though
it is known that we will sin again.
When a murder is committed, the sinner can be forgiven
even through the deceased can never be brought back to be with their loved
ones. Not only has the sinner ended the life of one, but also the life of the
family. Despite this sin, the sinner can repent and return to full communion
with the Church, in addition to also paying their debt to society as stipulated
by civil law. Those who divorce, like the one who murdered, are required to follow
civil law, and then they have the added requirement to follow cannon law if
they wish to remarry and receive the Holy Eucharist. There is no forgiveness
for this sin of divorce and remarriage, there is only the law. Somehow this
seems disengaged with God’s plan, Christ’s sacrifice, and the Power of the Holy
Spirit. This law is an extension of human thought that goes beyond the essence
of the biblical idea: the law of love. Dissolution of marriage is strictly a
technicality of cannon law that states that the Holy Spirit never entered into
the union of the couple in question. By declaring that the marriage was never
“sealed” by the Spirit it allows for the individuals that were in the marriage
to re-marry and not violate the literal words of our Christ. No one desires
divorce, most especially those who are going through the pain of divorce.
Divorce is the death of love between two people. And as it is with death and
loss, there is a grieving process that follows. The Sacrament of marriage dies
when the love of the married couple dies. This is true regardless if the couple
remains married or not.
“The first is this: Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is Lord
alone! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your
soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘You
shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There
is no other commandment greater than these.” (MK, 12; 29-31: bold mine) As we read the words of our
savior, it is clear to me that the law of love, charity, and forgiveness is
paramount to all other laws, statutes, or any man-made obstacles to those
called by God.
In the story about the woman caught in adultery, (John, 8; 1-11) Jesus
gives us two lessons, 1. Do not judge and 2. Forgive. In today’s Church there
is no forgiveness for divorce. There is only an arduous and expensive task to
dissolve or annul a marriage. This action has become a completely legalistic
approach to a spiritual matter. This is a man made exception regarding the
legality of a marriage. A sacrament that is held together by obligation and
fails to bring about the sharing of love is not a relationship of Grace. A
relationship of this nature will only bring about feelings of animosity.
It seems unlikely to me
that our Christ would put this kind of barrier between himself and his Church,
the people. How is it possible that a couple that is legally married through
the civil authorities and sharing their love for each other and following the
law of Christ, be at the same time living a life of perpetual sin? Our Christ stated, “I did not come to call
the righteous but sinners.” (Matt, 9; 13b: MK, 2;17b) So for the Church to deny
the Holy Eucharist to those who have re-married without the judicial trial of
cannon law seems out of touch with our Christ. I would say that our Christ
never intended the Church to distance itself from its people in this manner. Denying
the Holy Eucharist, the essence of our faith, for such a technicality goes
against the law of love, the highest law in the Christian faith!
During the time of Jesus
a man could divorce his wife for almost any reason, but this wasn’t the reason
for such a hard line drawn by Jesus. After the husband declared a decree of
divorce the wife became totally self-sufficient; there was no obligation for
the husband to support her in any manner. Also during this period of time a
working woman was looked down upon by the entire society. This is the sin that
Jesus conveys. To shirk one’s responsibility to care for another and their
children is the sin, not the divorce and remarriage itself. (Can, 1136, 1689)
In the Church today there
is a liberal and conservative ideology that separates the people from each
other. In cannon law and the theology that supports it, there is created a
division between our Christ and the Church, her people. There is no greater
partition with the Church than the theology and Canon Law defining divorce and
re-marriage as perpetual sin excluding men and women from the partaking of the
Holy Eucharist.
No, I am not trying to
lessen the peak experience with God that a sacrament is. I am also not trying
to diminish the ideal of marriage in general. I do feel strongly that the
sacrament of marriage should be looked at from a different perspective than the
current practice and reexamined from the perspective of the couple, as
ministers. I do not believe that the church should be afraid that they will be
looked upon as endorsing divorce, but instead the Church should be looked upon
as an extension of God’s love for us, that which is beyond our understanding.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
All
scripture is from the NABRE
1
= The Roman Missal
CCL= Code of Cannon Law
CCC= Catechism of the Catholic Church
CCL-Can. 1111
§1; As long as they hold office validly,
the local ordinary and the pastor can delegate to priests and deacons the
faculty, even a general one, of assisting at marriages within the limits of
their territory.
CCL-Can. 1136; Parents have the most grave duty and the primary right to take care as best
they can for the physical, social, cultural, moral, and religious education of
their offspring.
CCL-Can. 1689; In the sentence the parties are to be reminded of the moral and even
civil obligations which may bind them both toward one another and toward their
children to furnish support and education.
CCC-1623; In the
Latin Church, it is ordinarily understood that the spouses, as ministers of
Christ's grace, mutually confer upon each other the sacrament of Matrimony by
expressing their consent before the Church. In the Eastern liturgies the
minister of this sacrament (which is called "Crowning") is the priest
or bishop who, after receiving the mutual consent of the spouses, successively
crowns the bridegroom and the bride as a sign of the marriage covenant.
CCC-1663; Since marriage establishes the couple in a
public state of life in the Church, it is fitting that its celebration be
public, in the framework of a liturgical celebration, before the priest (or a
witness authorized by the Church), the witnesses, and the assembly of the
faithful.
CCC-1624;
The
various liturgies abound in prayers of blessing and epiclesis asking God's
grace and blessing on the new couple, especially the bride. In the epiclesis of
this sacrament the spouses receive the Holy Spirit as the communion of love of
Christ and the Church. The Holy Spirit is the seal of their
covenant, the ever available source of their love and the strength to renew
their fidelity.
CCC-1425
"YOU were washed, you were sanctified, you
were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our
God." One
must appreciate the magnitude of the gift God has given us in the sacraments of
Christian initiation in order to grasp the degree to which sin is excluded for
him who has "put on Christ.” But the apostle John also says: "If we
say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us." and the Lord
himself taught us to pray: "Forgive us our trespasses,” linking our forgiveness of one
another's offenses to the forgiveness of our sins that God will grant us.
